Not Always Easy

21/02/2014

   I have to confess that the words which seemed so eloquent last night as I composed them in my head, have all but evaporated along with the mist in the early morning sun. However I will try and retrieve them as best I can, because they come from a deep part of me, in a place I do not visit often.

   Life is not always easy, and I have never believed that it is meant to be. But when it is, we can fall into the trap of living each day as if it could be no other way. The friends and loved ones in our immediate circle continue to give us joy; and those who are further away, or not in regular contact still make our lives better, for the very fact we know they are there. This must be true, because when they are gone, life is an awful lot worse, and suddenly it no longer feels easy or safe.

  So how do we carry on? Do we pretend that our life will return to how it was? Do we believe that because we rarely saw the person, their departure will not make a difference to us? Perhaps to a certain extent that is possible. But as I mentioned before, there is a part of us that is deep inside, and which out of a sense of self preservation we do not visit too often, where those we love who have departed, are kept safe and where they wait patiently for us while we get on with our lives.
   Sometimes their presence can influence us, even inspire us, although we may be too busy to realise it at the time. So instead of thinking they have gone away, there is perhaps another way of looking at it. Although their physical body may no longer be there for us to see and talk with, we can still take comfort from the memories and the bond of family or friendship, that will keep them with us during our lifetime.

When I think about how to get on without those who have begun the next stage of their journey, I say yes,  of course life is worse without them, but they are not really gone. It is just that in the sadness of loss, it can take a while to find them again.

Frances Thompson.